Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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