she looked like the bat from fern gully.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
