someone get that fucking seahorse.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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