Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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