do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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