It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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