Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
