You work out of a Hotel?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
