My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
