Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
