Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
