Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
