I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Nicole vs. Life
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
