Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
