wakey wakey hands off snakey
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
