I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We got so high we made milksteak
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
