playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Randomize
