New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
