i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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