you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
