I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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