so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
