I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
God, you're like boner-b-gone
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
