I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
