Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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