Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
