he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
