I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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