ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
