I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
