She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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