with your own penis?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
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