It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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