playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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