You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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