They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
