Midget sex pt 2 tonight
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I need to calm my uterus...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
