Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
