East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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