i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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