She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
