im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
