Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
