Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
