Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
