in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
