thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
