Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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