about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
