I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
