I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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