Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
